Though tempting,I shall choose to write a helpful post rather than resorting to name calling. We may not yet address workplace bullying as a serious issue, out of discomfort- that's why it is essential to have this dialogue.

This post is about unhealthy work environments led by bad bosses and how to identify them. If you think you are stuck in one, LEAVE. If you need help identifying one, read on.

There are offices in the Middle-East that offer rosy career opportunities with decent pay packages, health coverage and the added benefit of glam quotient. Even though they churn out work as a sweatshop would, most employees don't complain about the long hours. In the lack of moderation and adequate laws protecting workers, corporations stretch it further. They find it acceptable to abuse their employees verbally and demean them through poor management, marketing it as part and parcel of the profession. 

But why? Because, if you leave, five others will sign up for the job for half the pay and double the abuse. 

There are professions with long hours, difficult clients and unreasonable deadlines. But there is no justification for protecting toxic bosses.

I quit my job mid 2017 after about a year of being employed, in the face of a crashing job market, because unregulated race-driven workplace harassment sucked me dry of my will to live.

Things were ugly from the start but I went there to gain some meaningful work experience- for which I remain grateful. Of course, I could have negotiated and switched teams but decided instead to pick my battles- that was a personal call. I hung on long enough to have a comprehensive picture of why you must identify and leave an abusive workplace, no matter what. 

So in my office, we were divided into teams and each team assigned a Project Manager who oversees the work and guides the project. Efficient enough.Unless, things go wrong. Let's see how.

1. Lack of humour

What do you get when a person works eighteen hours a day over and over with a boss who has no clear direction and verbally assaults you to save herself? Right- a person with jitters. A perfectly normal person who is driven to the edge and fights to simply be heard. A person with a one track mind, who is tired, snaps at the drop of a hat and sees nothing positive in any situation. Of course, the dullness and anxiety of this person takes form of a person who is super dedicated and 'serious' with no time to lighten up.

Everything is a matter of life and death. The lack of rest makes him slow and disillusioned, causing him to snap at his colleagues. Now imagine a herd of such people. Yeah, that's what the team led by an incapable and cruel boss looks like. A herd of sleep-deprived ill-mannered people.

2. Disrespect of boundaries

My boss began yelling at me habitually, the minute I became a permanent member on the team- she would impersonate me with a scowling face, give vague instructions and… sometimes come over and play with my hair. Not only is this despicable, it is a breach of personal boundary. There was another senior member who’d take the liberty to go through my pedestal in search of office supplies. While this would hold a different meaning for a healthy colleague, here it smelled of hierarchical entitlement. Anyone intruding your personal space without permission deserves no respect or tolerance from you and worse, has no basic decency. You deserve more than this attitude.

3. Warped communication

Whether you work alone or in a team, I cannot emphasize enough on the power of good communication skills. It creates bonding, efficiency and clarity. No team building or innovation is possible without it. In my workplace, the boss(es) would go on a two week long break- informing the team the evening before. Half baked instructions would be given and after completion of the task, distorted as needed. Instead of focusing on the event/ deadline that needs urgent attention, irrelevant issues would be addressed only to rush you to the important task at the last minute. So if you realize, you’re being used as bait by an incapable senior management, know that the habit will only get worse. So speak up and fight or just … run.

What surprised everyone were the grammatical errors and meaninglessness of the emails she sent out to clients, consultants and the office itself. It was never questioned nor was any mentoring ever offered to her. Weird.

4. Playing the blame game

Let’s see now…

Tight Schedule…check. Limited budget…check. Insufficient work-force…check. Poor leadership…check. No vision…check. Exhausted team…check. Communication breakdown...check.

Guess what thrives? Hell, yeah! Pass the buck,save your sorry A***. I remember during client meetings, the boss would my pointing fingers and yelling at the team members, even when they were not at fault. 

The tactics of these bosses are to yell and threaten. What’s that position for, anyway?

5.  “Oh, I just won’t tell the boss about the extra hours you put in…”

Yeah, that is what a Senior told an intern who was ‘challenging’ his intellect. All she did was go the extra mile and do her job thoroughly and without drama. He threatened her position, jeopardizing her chance of starting a career, convincing her that she was playing mind games with him, all the while threatening her position because he was a Senior. A workplace led by people hiding their lack of competence under the guise of authority, does not care about professionalism or good conduct. Worse, it will be hell bent on turning you into the ugly monster it is.

I recall when I was put in the team, the project head took me to a different room, interviewed me and threatened me about my job and demanded my portfolio like she had the authority to. Nobody knows what her educational background is, for it is not mentioned on her very obscure LinkedIn profile. With her reputation, I’d expect no different.

6. Verbal fart and micromanaging

The biggest revelation for me was that in a team, everything rests on the leader. With toxic leadership, comes your worst nightmare. I recall confronting the project manager in private about her unruly behaviour, as a last resort to make amends as adults. She stated she had no trust in me. Yeah, she picked me for the project and threatened me and said she had no trust in me.

‘Verbal fart’ is not just yelling like a hooligan but being a manipulative fuck and expecting nobody to question it, because you have ultimate authority. Being the only person in office who proudly proclaimed having ZERO software skills in an industry reliant on software, my project manager resorted of micromanaging and nagging till she got over her insecurities. She always said that HER projects were suffering because of us.

And when the project manager target, somehow, everyone thinks he is the punching bag. Because, people know there won't be any consequences. The people who join the bully are the usual ass-kissers. As soon as I identified this, I stood up for myself. They stopped. But, honestly, these are not the challenges one should be overcoming at the workplace. 

Such broken colleagues can only bring you down… so right about here, take a moment to consider the love and respect that went into raising you. Your family and your friends who made you who you are. When you allow someone to insult you, you allow them to insult all these people. Never give in to a bully, no matter how alone you stand.

7. The company that glorifies the bully as a leader

Much after my resignation and similarly despicable events, I realized I was not the first to have gone through this drill and ultimately resign. Her behaviour was apparently race driven. This made a lot of sense because she often stuttered while speaking to colleagues of perceived 'superior' races.

 Hers was the only team that did fourteen hour shifts. She would stay in office, staring at her screen late into the night, without actually doing any work. 

There had been plenty said against her behaviour, but the management did not lift a finger. My workplace taught me plenty. 

It taught me that playground bullies grow up, get jobs and revel in their narcissism, no questions asked.

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Bullies operate out of fear and need help, not commanding positions. Nobody teaches this stuff at school, most people learn it the hard way. Sadly, that is not in our control. A colleague of mine who joined much after, belonging to my 'race', admitted that she often found herself tongue-tied and questioned her own capabilities when threatened by our boss. Such is the power of the bully, the mob. 

Bullies corner their targets and single them out. Should you find yourself being a target, stand up for yourself and put your foot down. Should you witness your teammates, new to the workplace, facing bullying, stand up for them. Stand up when you are scared, that's when it actually matters.

Please do leave comments- the more this is talked about, the easier it is for people to know they’re not alone. So long, all!